The Big C

I know another huge disappearing act; but what can I say? Life just keeps throwing lemons and I am trying to make the best lemonade I can. To start with the months of March and April left India reeling with a devastating second wave of COVID 19. While I and my my immediate family were saved from direct impact, I have lost too many friends and relatives and sound of the ambulance through all hours on the main road next to my apartment block still makes me break into cold sweat. Things are better now but we have a long way to go and experts warn of a Third Wave in the country and I cannot even begin to fathom what that will bring.

While I was not impacted by COVID, I have been very unwell for more than 2 months. I have intermittent fever, severe weakness and a feeling of bloating and something not right inside me. I went through a round robin of doctors and pointless tests and I was told I am suffering from Calcium deficiency to IBS. But no medicines that prescribed worked and I continue to grow week, losing 12 kgs in 2 months. Finally in a fit of inspiration I reached out my gynecologist who recommended an Ultrasound test and then life began to unravel.

I am 38 years old and I have been diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer.

It took me a few days to let that sink in. I have never smoked in my life, never drank, let alone smoking up other substances. I ate good home cooked food, did hikes and generally faced life head on and with a lot of optimism, and this is my reward for playing by the rules No one in my family has a history of the big C. This was one curve ball I just did not see coming my way!

But life is what it is and we have to fight what comes our way. Good part is Ovarian Cancer treatment is highly advanced and this was caught well in time . My doctors are convinced of my full recovery and it still very much contained. Most importantly, like everything else in my life I shall fight and conquer this, come what may. This shall not destroy me; I shall conquer. I am blessed to have an older sister who has rolled up her sleeves and decided to throw it all to get me through this and friends who take up my fight on those days that I cannot bother to get out of bed. They have left no stone unturned; they are getting doctor appointments, ferrying me to and fro from tests and hospitals, getting second opinion. All I do no is rest and read; while everyone takes care of me with their own lives on hold. With so much love, how can I not come through this? How can I not win. I will win!

One help that I do seek from you is book recommendation – I have long hospital hours mapped out infront of me and I really need good engrossing reads . I am not picky – Classics, History, Non Fiction, Virago Collection, British Mysteries, Historical Fiction; anything will do as long as you all feel, they are good reads. So please humble request, please please share book recco!

I promise to stay in touch and keep you all posted.

20 thoughts on “The Big C

  1. Oh my sister, I am so sad to hear of this. But you know that I understand your challenge. I’m very encouraged that they found it early and you have a good prognosis! Please know that if there is anything I can do for you, I will do it! But most of all, enjoy every day as much as you can, and I know you will find many things to be grateful for. I will keep you constantly in my thoughts and prayers. Sending warm hugs and much love! ~ Cleo

    1. I knew you would get it! We are soul sister for a reason πŸ€—. I am ok and I am making every moment count. Not too mention I have so much to be grateful for. Keep me in your thoughts and I know I will be back basking in the sunshine soon. p.s. read anything good lately?? Much love and big hug !

      1. It’s hard to think of books at a time like this but I’ll try. I’ll stay away from the classics since lighter works might be more preferred:

        I would second Rumer Godden.
        Also anything by Elizabeth Goudge.
        I Capture the Castle is one of my favourites but you might have read it recently.
        To Kill A Mockingbird (I know you love it).
        Georgette Heyer (do you like her?)
        Wherever You Go, There You Are

        Children’s Books:
        Arthur Ransome’s Swallows and Amazon books (lots of them!)
        Tove Jansson’s Finn Family Moomintroll series
        anything by Caroline Dale Snedecker is very real but very uplifting
        The Phantom Tollbooth

        Wishing you recovered health and happiness. And I’ll email this week to see if I can help further. Keep a lookout for it. Hugs!

      2. You rock!!! Yes, I too have been thinking of Georgette Heyer as one of the mainstays of my reading. I have never read Godden….can you believe that? I will get a few of her books. But I love your Children Book list. I have heard of all of them but read none and now is such a perfect time and space to get going on them. Thank You so much…..you have no idea how much this helps! You are the best my sister!

  2. Oh oh oh!
    I’ve been thinking about you & your family every time I watch the news lately & we see how covid is affecting India. And I was so hoping you & your family were fine. For that part, I am grateful to read this post & see that is okay at least.
    Oh oh oh!
    Cancer.
    Lots of virtual hugs and positive vibes To start with. Your family & friends found amazing. And so are you. You are resilient & brave and loving. So many people have your back in real life & online. Tell us what you need.
    I’m about to go out to book club, but will come back with a list of my best reads.
    Take care my friend.
    Bron xo

    1. Yes, I too am grateful to be spared of COVID. Thank You for the hugs, they mean the world to me. I am truly blessed to have such wonderful family and friends, but in real life and virtually. It’s this love that convinces and encourages to battle this out. Thank You for all the support. Any good engrossing read will help! Much love Brona and thank you for always getting my back!

      1. I’ve been thinking about you all week and what books I could suggest that might be easy to read but satisfying at the same time.
        I see that Cleo has already suggested some children’s classics, but I will add a few more – great historical fiction with heart and kindness woven into the story – ones like The Railway Children, Anne of Green Gables (of course) and Little Women (of course). The Silver Sword and I Am David. What Katy Did, Alice in Wonderland, the Narnia series, the Wizard of Oz, the Secret Garden. Seven Little Australians for an Australian twist. Winnie the Pooh is good at any age. Watership Down (a personal favourite) and Charlotte’s Web.

        Poetry is also good for waiting rooms and those nights you cannot sleep well.

        I don’t need to tell you about Rabindranath Tagore, but he might be the comfort you need right now.

        Non-fiction is also good for those times when you cannot concentrate properly – it’s much easier to pick up and put down again (which I see that you already reading the Emperor of Maladies on insta).
        An illness bio I read a while back, which was lovely and thoughtful was called The Sound of a Wild Snail Eating (and slim!) (my review – https://bronasbooks.com/2012/03/28/the-sound-of-a-wild-snail-eating-by-elisabeth-tova-bailey/)

        I hope this list helps a little.

        I’m planning on hosting a Rumer Godden reading week in Dec for her b’day – so save one of her books for then! I second Elizabeth von Armin and will add Angela Thirkell for easy to read, escapist reads.

      2. Brona I cannot thank you enough for coming back to share such great reccomendation. Children’s Literature are such great reads as is Elizabeth A and Thirkell. I will look up the Sound of a Wild Snail……and for sure join your Dec reading event. I am beyond touched by your kindness and thought! I am so blessed to have you all as my tribe!

  3. Oh, so sorry to hear this. I’m glad you’ve been able to get through the COVID, but so sorry for your diagnosis. I will be thinking of you and sending you all the good vibes and positive thoughts I can, and I will hope things are dealt with quickly so you can get back to full health. I am so glad you have so much support – and you go out and fight that thing! x

  4. omg… i’m so sorry to hear this; life just drops rocks on us sometimes, i guess… i trust that you’ll get through this and life will resume it’s peripatetic meanderings again… Carol at Journey and Destination has been reading Rumer Godden and her books sound like something you’d like a lot… just a suggestion… i’ll be thinking about you over there…

    1. Dropping rocks is such an appropriate metaphor!! I will get through this and be back at my madcap ways 😁 . Thank You so much for the reccomendation and your kind thoughts!!

  5. I’m glad you and your family have come through the second wave of Covid without too much direct impact, but I’m so sorry to hear your other news. It’s good that you have people around you to support you and I’m sure you’ll be able to find comfort in books. I’ll be thinking of you and hoping you make a quick recovery!

    1. Thank You so much for your kind thoughts! Yes I am very fortunate to have such a great support system around me and with some books , I am all amped up to beat this thing!

  6. Oh no! I thought the C was going to be COVID! You have such a great support system there and a positive attitude, I am sure you will make it through and find health and healing on the other side. Sending hugs and healing thoughts!

    As for books, Charles Dickens is always a good choice. And have you ever read Three Men in a Boat by Jerome K Jerome? If you haven’t it’s good for some laughs. Elizabeth von Arnim’s Enchanted April is simply feel good lovely. And how do you feel about E.M. Forster? Howard’s End and A Room with a View are great. Have you ever read Daphne du Maurier? Her Rebecca is a must but I bet you’d like her other books too.

    Take care, get well, and check in here now and then if you can!

    1. Thank You so much for the hugs! Those I need more than ever πŸ™‚ thank you also for the book reccomendation…I have read Enchanted April and Howard’s End and loved them both but I need to explore both EM Forster and Elizabeth V more ….and a A Room with a View seems a great place to start. I am taking care and willl keep checking in and sharing updates. Like I said I am going to beat this thing black and blue πŸ™‚

  7. Cirtnecce, I’m so sorry to hear this… I somehow stopped getting your blog updates so only just read it. 😦 Praying your treatment and recovering goes well!! Books-wise, you might enjoy the Jeeves and Wooster series by P G Wodehouse. Take care ❀

    1. Hey Marian…hope you are well! Apologies for the delayed revert as you can see I was a bit caught up…lol. I did pick up some PG Woodhouse but have not been able to get them yet! Thank You for your thoyghts!

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